You stay calm under pressure at work when your alarm stops treating everyday moments as danger. Every time it does, it calls in an emergency responder, what Deano Sutter, founder of Pressure Reflex™ Leadership Training System, calls a Pressure Reflex. Fewer false alarms means fewer responders, and that's what calm actually is.
You know this moment
Your boss messages at 4:55. "Got a minute?"
No context. Just that.
By the time you get to their office, you've rehearsed 3 defenses, replayed every meeting this month and mentally updated your resume.
They want to know if you can cover the holiday schedule.
Why can't I just calm down?
Because the part of you that's reacting isn't listening to logic.
Your brain is running one check, all day: am I safe? "Got a minute?" with no context can read as a threat. Once it does, the alarm goes off and calls in a responder. By then, telling yourself to calm down is like asking the fire truck to turn around while the alarm is still ringing.
Why does work pressure feel so intense?
Because work is full of moments your alarm can misread. Feedback. Being watched. Not knowing what's coming. Missing a number. Letting someone down.
None of these can actually hurt you. But your alarm was calibrated a long time ago, and it hasn't been updated for the life you're living now. So it treats them like real danger.
The moment is real. The danger isn't. That's a false alarm.
What does losing your calm look like?
It isn't always yelling. Most people lose their calm quietly.
- You find yourself arguing with the feedback. That's The Defender.
- You go blank in the meeting. That's The Short-Circuiter.
- You say yes to the extra project you have no room for. That's The People Pleaser.
- You take over the whole thing yourself. That's The Ringmaster.
Each one is a responder showing up at full force for burnt toast. Your reaction ends up bigger than the moment.
What does it cost you?
The moment passes. The reaction stays.
People remember how you showed up when it got hard. Your repeated reactions become your reputation.
Do breathing exercises and tips help?
They can help you ride out the moment once the alarm has gone off. That's worth something.
What they don't do is change what sets the alarm off. So the same moments keep triggering it, week after week, and you keep needing the tips.
How do you stay calm for real?
It starts with recognizing which Pressure Reflex takes over for you, and noticing the tell when it does.
Lasting calm comes from updating the alarm. A Pressure Reflex was trained, so it can be retrained, until "got a minute?" is just a question again. That's what Pressure Reflex Training is for.
"By uncovering our value systems, we were able to consciously navigate core triggers, that would have otherwise controlled us."
Michael Cruz, Head of Brand and Content, Partner
When the alarm only goes off for real fires, calm is what's left.
Keep reading
- Why do I overreact to small things?You overreact to small things because your brain reads them as a threat and calls in a Pressure Reflex, an emergency responder built for real danger.
- How do you make good decisions under pressure?Under pressure, a Pressure Reflex often makes the decision before you do. Better decisions start with knowing which one is deciding, and retraining it.
- How do you get out of your own way?You get in your own way when a Pressure Reflex takes over at the moments that matter most. Getting out of your own way means retraining it.
Start here: What is a Pressure Reflex? · The 8 Pressure Reflexes · All articles
Questions people ask
What is a Pressure Reflex?
A Pressure Reflex is the emergency responder your brain calls in when a moment feels like a threat. It was trained into you, and it can be retrained.
How do you stay calm under pressure at work?
By changing what your alarm reads as danger. When everyday work pressure stops setting off a Pressure Reflex, calm is what's left. Recognizing the Pressure Reflex when it shows up is where that starts.
How do you handle pressure at work?
Notice the moment your reaction gets bigger than the moment. That's a Pressure Reflex taking over. Tips help you get through it. Retraining the Pressure Reflex is what makes the same pressure stop setting it off.
Why can't I just tell myself to calm down?
Because the part of you that's reacting isn't listening to logic. It's asking one question, am I safe, and it has already answered no.
Do breathing exercises help with pressure at work?
They can help you ride out the moment once the alarm has gone off. They don't change what sets it off, so the same moments keep triggering it.
What does losing your calm look like at work?
It isn't always yelling. Going quiet, over-explaining, saying yes to everything and taking over are all ways a Pressure Reflex shows up when the pressure hits.
Keep getting in your own way when the pressure is on? Let's talk about where it's costing you. Free, 30 minutes, one to one.