How do you get out of your own way?

You get in your own way when a Pressure Reflex takes over at exactly the moments that matter. Getting out of your own way means recognizing it, and retraining it. Deano Sutter, founder of Pressure Reflex™ Leadership Training System, calls it a Pressure Reflex: the version of you that takes over under pressure.

You know this moment

You know what you need to do.

Send the proposal. Ask for the raise. Have the conversation. Post the thing you wrote.

And somehow, again, you didn't.

You polished the proposal one more time. You decided the timing was off. You told yourself next quarter makes more sense.

It's not that you don't know how. You keep getting in your own way.

Why do I keep getting in my own way?

Because the part of you that steps in is trying to protect you.

Your brain keeps asking one question, all day long: am I safe? Some of the moments that matter most also feel the most exposed. Being seen. Being told no. Failing in front of people. If any of that ever felt dangerous, your alarm learned to step in right before it happens.

So it calls in a Pressure Reflex. And the Pressure Reflex does its job. It protects you, by keeping you from the thing you want.

Is it self-sabotage?

It can look like it. It feels like it too.

But a Pressure Reflex isn't trying to hurt you. It's an emergency responder doing exactly what it was trained to do. The problem is that its information is old.

Protection isn't the problem. Outdated protection is.

How do I get in my own way?

It depends on which Pressure Reflex takes over for you.

• You keep waiting for the right time. That's The Dodger.
• You keep polishing it until it's impressive enough. That's The Performer.
• You go quiet right when you should speak. That's The Short-Circuiter.
• You say yes to everyone else's priorities first. That's The People Pleaser.

Everyone experiences all 8 Pressure Reflexes at some point. The ones that show up most for you are the ones standing in your way most often.

What does it cost you?

The cost is rarely a big failure. It's the slow pile-up of things you didn't do.

The raise you didn't ask for. The idea someone else pitched first. The relationship that drifted because the conversation never happened.

Your repeated reactions become your reputation. Over enough years, they become your life.

How do you get out of your own way?

It starts with recognizing the version of you that steps in, and noticing when it does. Your reaction is bigger than the moment.

Lasting change comes from updating the programming. A Pressure Reflex was trained, so it can be retrained. When it stops running automatically, you get to choose again. That's the heart of Pressure Reflex Training.

"I knew I had a bully in my head, negative and limiting self-talk, but never realized how prolific these programs from the past were. They were holding me back in many areas of my life and I was not aware of."

Reggie Young, Exit Advisor, Agency Founder

The old programming got you this far. It doesn't get to decide what's next.