The Dodger

The Dodger is the Pressure Reflex that puts off the thing that needs to happen. It is one of eight Pressure Reflexes named by Deano Sutter, founder of Pressure Reflex™ Leadership Training System. It wants escape. And it is very good at making the avoiding look like being busy.

You know this moment

There's one conversation you need to have. You know exactly who it's with.

And you've spent three weeks being remarkably productive at everything else.

You cleared the inbox. Rebuilt the list twice. Closed out eleven things nobody was waiting on.

You have not had the conversation.

Why do I avoid hard conversations?

You'll say it's a timing thing. That you're waiting for the right moment.

Three weeks is not a timing thing.

A version of you learned that some answers can't be survived. The Dodger takes over to keep you from hearing them.

It runs on one line:

"If I avoid it, I won't have to deal with it."

So you stay busy, because busy feels safer than the answer. Even when the waiting is the thing costing you.

When is The Dodger the right responder?

Every Pressure Reflex is an emergency responder. Each one is built for a real threat.

In a real emergency, The Dodger is exactly who you want. An argument is about to turn physical. Someone is pushing you to sign today, and the numbers don't add up. Getting out is the smart call.

A false alarm looks different. A conversation you need to have. A decision that's overdue. An email you don't want to open. Nothing bad happens if you face it, but your alarm reads the discomfort as danger, and The Dodger gets you out. Your reaction ends up bigger than the moment. That's a false alarm.

What does The Dodger look like?

• "Put it in an email and I'll look at it later."
• A joke right when the room gets tense
• Changing the subject
• Being too slammed for the one thing that matters
• Saying "later" to the conversation your partner keeps trying to have

What does The Dodger cost you?

Nobody sees you avoiding anything. They just notice you never quite get to the hard thing.

And the conversation gets heavier every week you wait.

Once it's called in, The Dodger gets you out at all costs. Even when the thing you're avoiding keeps getting bigger.

The Dodger avoids discomfort. The avoiding creates more of it.

Your repeated reactions become your reputation.

Is The Dodger one of your main Pressure Reflexes?

You might recognize it in lines like:

• "I avoid things until they become bigger."
• "Pressure makes me procrastinate."
• "I know I need to deal with it, but I avoid it."

Everyone experiences The Dodger at some point. For some people, it's a predominant Pressure Reflex, the one that shows up most, especially around conflict and uncertainty.

And when it is, it rarely shows up alone. It often brings one or two other Pressure Reflexes with it.

Either way, The Dodger is not who you are. It is who takes over.

Protection isn't the problem. Outdated protection is. What was trained can be retrained.

The goal isn't to love hard conversations. It's to stay in the room when one starts.

See all eight Pressure Reflexes